Sunday, December 24, 2006

I would like to wish all the Blog users a Merry Christmas

Sunday, December 10, 2006

And the point was...?

Just logged on for a quick check to see if anyone has written anything new and there was a message saying there was a new version of blogger and to click here to switch our blog to the new one... clicked on it as directed and it said that the blog wouldn't be switched at this time. What was the point of saying click here if they knew they weren't going to switch over?


Sunday, December 03, 2006


Im going to apologise right now to anyone who actually reads this as I am about to go on a self indulgent rant and I can't do this on my own msn blog as members of the Bracknell Massive read this and Id rather this didn't get back to them.

So I went out Friday night. Met up with my mate Steve and we went to a pub in town called the Goose. There we met up with Emily, Louise, Fern, Saskia and Stoif (yes I know the names mean nowt to you all but hey at least you will know the names of the people Im annoyed at).

Anyway I haven't seen all of these people except Steve and Stoif for at least 6 months. Bear in mind that we were really good friends at school. Now correct me if Im wrong but if you all saw a friend that you hadn't seen for the best part of a year you would make the effort to say hi to that person and make them feel welcome wouldn't you? Well apparently not. Was made to feel like a complete outsider all night. Tried on a couple of occasions to strike up a conversation and failed every time. Anyone outside of the little group of four might as well of not existed. Only time I was spoken to by one of the other girls was when they wanted me to hold their drink/coat. I also was made to feel like I had ruined their night by daring to wear trainers which meant we couldn't get into some of the clubs. I wasn't the only one in trainers but was made to feel like it was all my fault and I had ruined their night. Well excuse me for not conforming to the sort of stuck up mentality that all my female so called Bracknell mates seem to have.

Realise that anyone reading this is probably wondering what all the fuss is about and maybe it is one of the things you had to be there for but it REALLY pissed me off and just reminded me how very glad I am that I moved down here.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Where is everybody?

Hello? Anyone out there? *echoes rebound off the empty space* I'll just talk to myself then...

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Nearly over...

At last after a few weeks of constant mess, noise and the rather heady smell of paint fumes and white spirt, my dad has nearly finished decorating my house. Just a few more odds and sods left to do and then thats it. Finally life will be getting back to what counts as normal in my house.
Thing is I will probably then be really lonely and be on here bitching about how I miss my dad being here!!

On another note thanks for the comments on my random writing.


Thursday, October 19, 2006

More help needed...

Im pretty sure you've all heard me rant at one time or other about squirrels... Here is a piece of random writing about the subject. Once again inspiration deserted me just as I thought I had something... Damn you writers block!!DAMN YOU!!

Squirrels. You’ve all seen them in parks and trees across the country. Most often they are grey and furry with cute twitching noses and a long bushy tail. Not the appearance you would expect a criminal mastermind to have but then that’s exactly what you’re supposed to think. In reality, behind the bright eyes and the disarmingly innocent face lies the mind of a hardened criminal genius waiting for his opportunity to strike. Every year squirrels make dozens of attempts to overthrow society as we know it. Thankfully for the continued survival of peace and order, all these attempts have so far failed. This is the story of one attempt that came closer than most…

Our tale begins on a beautiful late spring day, the kind that has the British public heading to the beach in droves, getting hideously sunburnt and then complaining that it is far too hot and they wish it would rain. The sky was clear except for the vapour trails of planes and the smell of freshly cut grass had many hay fever sufferers reaching for their packets of anti-histamines. It was near the end of term and the students of the local inner city university were beginning their summer break early.

Like flies to a left over pizza, they flocked to the park and threw themselves down on the grass. By mid afternoon, it was impossible to move more than ten paces without tripping over a comatose body as many felt the effects of the previous night’s ‘pound a pint’ promotion at the student union. Falling over people was not the only risk however. There was also a danger of decapitation as those with more energy and slightly less severe hangovers lobbed Frisbees around for the sake of entertainment. This was the first decent day of weather for weeks and the students were going to enjoy themselves.

Unbeknownst to the frolicking students however, they were not the only ones in the park who were planning to take advantage of the sunshine. High up in the dense foliage of one of the beech trees that bordered the park, three pairs of jet black eyes were watching every move made by the teeming mass of humanity sprawled below.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

new 7 wonders

Just found this really cool website... apparently there is a vote going on to find the new 7 wonders of the world. The website is Choose your favourites from a short list of 21.

Wanted: Much Needed Inspiration

Please forgive the self-indulgence but I was wondering if anyone could help... Wrote this a while ago when I had one of those 'that would make a great opening for a story' moments. Thing is wrote the following and then the inspiration just kinda died... Was wondering if anyone had any ideas for the next bit? Im aware that most of what I write is complete crap but everyone needs to write crap every now and then... its theraputic!!


I was having a seriously bad day. Now here’s the thing, everyone thinks they know what it means to be having a bad day and can probably reel off countless examples of things that went wrong and spoilt their day. It may be the morning when they burnt their toast and nearly set the kitchen on fire or the time the car wouldn’t start and made them miss that concert they had waited all year to see. Alternatively people consider it a bad day whenever they get into trouble with their boss, parents or whoever over some small trivial matter and they are made to feel so small that cells have to use a microscope to see them. There are infinite examples and it would be impossible to list them all but I think you’ve got the idea. That’s what everyone thinks a bad day is. If they only knew the truth then most people wouldn’t bother getting out of bed in the morning for fear of having a REALLY bad day.

Truly bad days, like the one I am currently in the middle of, are thankfully very rare. However when they do occur, they are likely to be life changing events that suddenly make you realise that your previous concept of a bad day was so far wide of the mark that you begin to wonder if your understanding of anything was ever accurate.

To help you understand why I can class this as a true bad day rather than a day full of minor annoyances, which is what it started out as, I need to set the scene a bit. At the moment its just gone midday and I’m currently crouched in a typical inner city underpass, full of the usual fast food wrappers, leaves and other rubbish. None of the lights work, the walls are covered with local gang graffiti and there is the faint smell of rat piss in the air. All things considered it isn’t the type of place you want to be crouched unless you absolutely have to. Unfortunately I absolutely have to.

I’m out of breath and bitterly wishing that I’d started going to the gym when I said I would. Maybe then I would be in slightly better shape and not trying to fight off what feels like an impending coronary. On the road overhead a couple of police cars are racing past, sirens blaring. Normally this isn’t something to worry about except this time they are looking for me. For the record I’d like to make it perfectly clear that I am completely innocent. I know that hiding from the police in a stinking underpass full of litter isn’t really the action taken by an innocent person but you don’t know the entire situation yet and trust me when I tell you, hiding in this underpass is the only way I can stop myself landing in even more trouble.

So any one got any ideas or is it just best if I give up now?!

Monday, October 16, 2006

New background

Yes I know we've had this one before but its called Jellyfish!! What a great name!!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

The dangers of sharing a washing machine

There was just nearly an international incident in my house. Finally got to put some of my washing in the machine. Haven't been able to get near it for a while as Katie seems determined to wash every single piece of clothing that she owns. Anyway I put my WHITE washing into the machine and left the magic washing faires to do their work. Went back a while later and discovered as I was taking my clothes out that a RED knee brace thingy had been left in the machine!! Luckily all my clothes were still white... But thats not the point!! Everything could have been dyed pink!! Dunno about the rest of you but I assume like me that you check that you have removed everything from the washing machine before leaving it for someone else to use!! ARGH!!!

Ok... breathe...


Sunday, October 08, 2006

Paris here I come!

OK, well as some of you may be aware, I am off to Paris with a certain young man in November. Having not been for a while, I was wondering if you would all like to offer suggestions for things we could do whilst there.


Friday, October 06, 2006

Insert humorous blog title here...

Im posting again for something to do... Katie is currently singing along to James Blunt (very badly). Had my dad either hammering or sanding all day!! Im ill people!! Supposed to have peace and quiet!! Have no idea what is wrong with my spelling today. Just been editing my msn space thingy. Tried to put the subtitle "were there monkeys? Evil space monkeys?". (In case you are wondering this is a quote from firefly - great series which they should bring back). Anyway this is what I wrote to start with... "where the monkeys? Evil space monkeys?". Took me two visits back to my page to realise this was wrong. First time i noticed the where and the second time that there was wrong. Ive got an english degree for crying out loud!!

Again just for something else to do, here are some of my other favourite quotes.
"There are 3 kinds of people in the world. Those who want things to happen, those who make things happen and those who just wonder what the hell happened."

"You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on"

"Conversations are going on all around me. I join some, I leave some and some never found me"

"Don't follow a path others have set. Set a path for others to follow."

"If nothing can go wrong then you have forgotten something important."

Anyone else got any quotes they would like to add?

Rock on one and all.


Monday, October 02, 2006

Happy Happy, Joy Joy.

Spurs won a game!! Woo hoo!!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Crazy Old Ladies

Well, after a tiring day of canvassing where I still don't seem to have actually gotten anywhere, I thought I would have to share the tale of the crazy old lady.
There I was, I knocked on her door and from behind the door came this inane babbling (I think she wanted to know who was there).
She answered the door and the first thing I said was that I was from the council. BIG MISTAKE!!!
She went on and on about taking me to court (cause of course I AM the council!!!) and I was just trying to find a polite way of running away. She kept talking about how her neighbours were rude to her and her pension isn't enough.
The whole experience got me thinking, what is it with crazy little old ladies. They look so small and helpless and sweet but they are the root of all evil. They lure you into a false sense of security then lunge wildly at you with verbal abuse (and on the odd occasion, a walking stick).
Any thoughts?

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Saturday night and Andrew is getting hot!

Another night out with my colleagues and another event to log in the 'bazaar things that have happened while on a night out with my colleagues' note book. Going out is getting very complicated. Events happen and dramas occur. I am glad to report that on this occasion the biggest emotional crises we had to face was starting our meal a little late. Just a few light casualties there. However physically we were not so lucky. Andrew was the victim of some extremely hot soup being tipped over him by a waiter. Doesn't that normally only happen in bad sit. coms.? He did survive though and I believe a free bottle of red wine did help to ease the pain.

Lets be careful out there team members. Ellie has had chocolate mousse over her trousers, Andrew has had hot soup, there are foods lurking round every corner just waiting to be spilt on your freshly laundered clothes. Its a messy world out there. Will our clothes survive the quiz tonight?

Friday, September 22, 2006


Had to change the background as I can't stand pink!! Any other colour but that!! Thought I would share with you all the random accident that happened round my mates house. Went round there after work and was warned that the floor was slightly slippery as it had 'accidently' been polished. All was fine until Jenn came in with a open pot of mousse. I didn't see what happened... all I heard was a scrabbling sound and then lots of laughing. Looked down as a cold sensation crept through my CLEAN jeans to find Jenns mousse was now upside down on my thigh. I saw the funny side.... eventually.



So how do we feel about hamsters?

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Randomly posting just so theres something new...

No one has posted for a while so I thought I would. So... the number 3. Is it really a magic number?


Wednesday, September 13, 2006


Was wondering fellow bloggers if we should have a specific font which should only be used for sarcasm? Think this may save a fair few misunderstandings...
Any thoughts?

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Our House

................and I'd furnish it with love. Grow apple trees and honey bees, and snow white turtle doves.
Tonight those members of the blog who dined together agreed that we should all be living together in practically perfect harmony. There are of course a few minor things we need to sort out before that can happen e.g the money and finding the right property etc etc . So just in case our lottery numbers come up this weekend I think we should gather some ideas about what our house should look like (yes those towers can be made out of ivory Ellie) and have in it. Also don't forget to volunteer for a role in the house or just like the phone rota you may be allocated a duty.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Depressing Soap Opera's

OK, now Miss Understood's comment about Dot Cotton got me thinking. At the moment, all soaps seem to be incredibly depressing (and I mean even more so than usual).
My basis for this thought relies mainly on Eastenders and Hollyoaks and as I do not really watch any others, I would appreciate some feedback from those who do.

Now we all know that Eastenders is usaully enough to make any self respecting, contented person what to kill themselves but the whole 'downs' story line is just too much. As for Hollyoaks, killing pretty much the entire cast in an arson attack from a crazy rapist. Why can't they just all be happy, like me (he he he he).

It begs the question, why on earth do I watch this crap and why do I decide to talk about it on the blog?

I'm sorry guys. I will go away now and think of something worth talking about.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Steve Irwin

Steve Irwins funeral was held today and he will be missed.
I think the web site for the charity he set up with his wife Terri is worth a visit for a bit more of what the man was about.
Crocs Rule!

As the self appointed arbiters of ...., I think we should work out what we mean by ..... Does it relate to a particular piece in a game of dominos, four balls in cricket to which no runs have been scored, morse code (does anybody know what .... stands for?), dot to dot, dot matrix, Dot Cotton (Oh Jim, you know I'm not one to gossip!)?

Oh my good god, I feel so very sad, yet I appear to be enjoying the blog experience. One could say revelling! I know it's all wrong, be it feels so right!

How about discussing the use of "one" in third person? In for instance: How does one hang one's blog roll?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Would you rather....

Would you rather be Darth Vader or Yoda?

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Quotes and funny happenings

Thinking it maybe an idea to use the blog to record some of the comments and random happenings that occur on a regular basis in our office. Im thinking of such gems as Mr Spreadbury's comment about getting Mr Bishop's shirt put down... What do you think?

Also a question to ponder... How do we know that we are not just brains in jars?

Friday, September 01, 2006


Kim and I were having this discussion the other day. Recently there has been a worrying increase in the number of mullets. Was thinking that maybe we should arbitrate once and for all and declare mullets evil. Anyone else with me on this?!

Also seeing as we are now the self employed self appointed arbiters what rates should we charge for our services?! :)

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Yes what should we arbitrate on?

I think we have fully considered and judged the correct way to hang a toilet roll, I may provide pictures later to fully clarify this to any person randomly dropping in to our pages.

A little housekeeping.....
Are we all happy with the look of our blog. The template can be changed but I would just advise that I am the sole administrator of the blog at the moment so if you pick one I don't like, I just won't get round to updating it!

Finally how many days, stranded on an island without food, would it take for a college who eats anything to start consider you as their next meal?
OK, I must admit I am a little confused about all this. I think I must be qualified in idiocy! I have however managed to create my own blog which I think deserves a round of applause (and perhaps a qualification!)

Monday, August 28, 2006

Can't see why we would need qualifications in anything else. Does this mean we are now the self appointed arbiters of blog entries?

Sunday, August 27, 2006


We are not qualified in anything other then to have an opinion on everything!